Indiana spurned this blog post, after reading his comments below I wanted to write this.
The Ex and I dated for 2 years.
For the first year I was the happiest mentally and physically I've ever been.
The second year my Ex worried, for the most part, about graduating and getting a job that would let him stay in America (he was Indian).
Sex dwindled.
I understood, my Ex was going through incredible amounts of stress throughout his life and worrying about keeping me happy sexually shouldn't have been one of them.
At the one year, six month mark, sex stopped completely.
I lived with him.
I made dinner, cleaned our apartment, did our laundry, and nightly he would pour over countless amounts of code and interview research and applications.
I complained or said anything only when I felt really left out of his life.
For the most part I suffered in silence.
I would sleep next to the man every evening.
That feeling of a man next to me. Hard body. Usually curled up against me.
At first I could handle it.
I forgot about it until I was getting undressed for the shower, or in the shower, or watching him get undressed.
Since those moments only happened briefly, I dealt with it.
After a while, more and more things happened when I tried to forget.
I would walk down the street and without realizing it, I would fantasize about every guy who walked past me. I would imagine them naked, or kissing me, or what I would do to them.
I wanted to hear the groaning of pleasure, the feel of a kiss, the taste of someone.
I had none of that.
I did not cheat on him.
I did not get close to cheating on him, unless you count my thoughts,
then I cheated on him like a shameless whore.
At the end of a 5 month stretch, we finally had sex again.
By then it was too late.
We weren't smart about each other and we weren't smart about what we were doing.
I had become a sort of mother to him, and he had become my patient.
Our roles weren't healthy anymore.
We started fighting then.
Our fighting lasted for a month before we both admitted what we came to subliminally realize a month earlier.
Lack of sex killed our relationship.
The Ex and I dated for 2 years.
For the first year I was the happiest mentally and physically I've ever been.
The second year my Ex worried, for the most part, about graduating and getting a job that would let him stay in America (he was Indian).
Sex dwindled.
I understood, my Ex was going through incredible amounts of stress throughout his life and worrying about keeping me happy sexually shouldn't have been one of them.
At the one year, six month mark, sex stopped completely.
I lived with him.
I made dinner, cleaned our apartment, did our laundry, and nightly he would pour over countless amounts of code and interview research and applications.
I complained or said anything only when I felt really left out of his life.
For the most part I suffered in silence.
I would sleep next to the man every evening.
That feeling of a man next to me. Hard body. Usually curled up against me.
At first I could handle it.
I forgot about it until I was getting undressed for the shower, or in the shower, or watching him get undressed.
Since those moments only happened briefly, I dealt with it.
After a while, more and more things happened when I tried to forget.
I would walk down the street and without realizing it, I would fantasize about every guy who walked past me. I would imagine them naked, or kissing me, or what I would do to them.
I wanted to hear the groaning of pleasure, the feel of a kiss, the taste of someone.
I had none of that.
I did not cheat on him.
I did not get close to cheating on him, unless you count my thoughts,
then I cheated on him like a shameless whore.
At the end of a 5 month stretch, we finally had sex again.
By then it was too late.
We weren't smart about each other and we weren't smart about what we were doing.
I had become a sort of mother to him, and he had become my patient.
Our roles weren't healthy anymore.
We started fighting then.
Our fighting lasted for a month before we both admitted what we came to subliminally realize a month earlier.
Lack of sex killed our relationship.
posted by sipwine at 2:36 PM
2 Comments:
Lack of sex, or the desire for it stopped my recent foray as it was beginning...and we didn't have the history to make me even want to bother or hang on for things to ride the wave that most relationships do.
Without a healthy and mutually sex life all you have is friendship...and if we are honest we can get that elsewhere.
I agree with you.
You have to have a healthy and mutually sex life and friendship, or you are in for some problems.
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