"I love you."
Three words almost impossible to say sometimes.
Even when you really mean them.
So much is attached to them.
When there shouldn't be.
In May I realized that I had feelings of love for S.O.
I knew he had strong feelings for me, but how much, I had no idea.
He told me from day one that he was not one to show emotion and
he was not one to get into "serious" relationships.
I have no idea what that means.
Today I grew to a point where I couldn't take it anymore.
This morning when I got up, I took a shower in S.O.'s apartment.
As I was leaving I kissed him on the forehead.
I walked to work.
Sat down at my desk.
And typed up an e-mail to him.
I told him that I knew he wasn't one for emotion.
and that he didn't want a "serious" relationship.
I told him I didn't know what that meant, but I thought it meant that he didn't want anyone in love with him.
I told him I had fallen for him. (I did NOT say I love you)
I told him that if he was really offended by this, that we could end it.
I told him I was prepared for the worse.
I told him that if he wanted too, he could wait until Monday to deal with me.
I signed it with the first inital of my first name.
I don't even care if this is not how it works.
Sometimes you have to make your own rules to be happy.
And I wasn't going to be happy unless I said something.
Three words almost impossible to say sometimes.
Even when you really mean them.
So much is attached to them.
When there shouldn't be.
In May I realized that I had feelings of love for S.O.
I knew he had strong feelings for me, but how much, I had no idea.
He told me from day one that he was not one to show emotion and
he was not one to get into "serious" relationships.
I have no idea what that means.
Today I grew to a point where I couldn't take it anymore.
This morning when I got up, I took a shower in S.O.'s apartment.
As I was leaving I kissed him on the forehead.
I walked to work.
Sat down at my desk.
And typed up an e-mail to him.
I told him that I knew he wasn't one for emotion.
and that he didn't want a "serious" relationship.
I told him I didn't know what that meant, but I thought it meant that he didn't want anyone in love with him.
I told him I had fallen for him. (I did NOT say I love you)
I told him that if he was really offended by this, that we could end it.
I told him I was prepared for the worse.
I told him that if he wanted too, he could wait until Monday to deal with me.
I signed it with the first inital of my first name.
I don't even care if this is not how it works.
Sometimes you have to make your own rules to be happy.
And I wasn't going to be happy unless I said something.
posted by sipwine at 4:25 PM
4 Comments:
Sometimes you have to put your self out on the limb...the only catch is you have to accept that more often or not people cut it out from under you.
Your bravery might well be rewarded, Sipper.
In any case, it's the best example of "The Talk" I've seen to date.
Indy & Wombat: We'll see Monday. He's working now, and I know he's not sure on what to do right now. I meant what I said though, I'm ready for the worse.
I am keeping my fingers crossed for you...I know what it's like when love works and when it fails, and I am definitely on the side of seeing it work.
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