Last Night Part One:
S.Y. tried very hard to be sweet to me. He offered to buy dinner, spend time with me, and watch a movie with me… all those qualities you look for in someone else. I sat wary through every attempt. In my years, I’ve learnt only to trust when it’s needed, and to be wary the rest of the time. This time, I decided wary was the safest bet.
Through most of the night, I just thought about what I wanted.
At the end of the movie we watched, I asked S.Y. to come outside with me.
We sat on the front porch, drinking a beer and melting in the heat.
Over the last seven years I knew him, I watched him in relationships, out of relationships, I watched him pine after me, and ignore me. I’ve felt how nice it was when he was sweet to me, and how horrible it was for him to be an asshole to me. I thought, “All those things make a relationship.”
Something was always missing from us. Something didn’t make the whole nine yards, just 8.5 yards. Close, but not close enough.
I had been thinking all this time, “What do I do wrong?”
While I sat on that porch, I thought, “Maybe it’s not me, maybe it’s him.”
And like a light bulb, I had a possible answer.
I turned to him, looked him straight in the eye and said, “You like the chase.”
Taken aback and confused, S.Y. said, “What are you talking about?”
“You are a female fisherman. You throw out your line, catch something, reel it in, and right before it dies from lack of oxygen, you throw it back.” I said.
“I don’t like to think of myself as a killer, so I always throw them back.” He joked.
“How true to form” I say.
At this he became serious, and stopped smiling. He sits and thinks, after a moment he takes a long drag off of his cigarette, a gulp of beer, and says, “You might be right, I meant what I said the other night, I hope you realize that, but yes, I do like the chase and more often than not, I find myself instantly bored once I have what I’m chasing after.”
I felt like I had just solved the mystery behind Stonehenge.
Through most of the night, I just thought about what I wanted.
At the end of the movie we watched, I asked S.Y. to come outside with me.
We sat on the front porch, drinking a beer and melting in the heat.
Over the last seven years I knew him, I watched him in relationships, out of relationships, I watched him pine after me, and ignore me. I’ve felt how nice it was when he was sweet to me, and how horrible it was for him to be an asshole to me. I thought, “All those things make a relationship.”
Something was always missing from us. Something didn’t make the whole nine yards, just 8.5 yards. Close, but not close enough.
I had been thinking all this time, “What do I do wrong?”
While I sat on that porch, I thought, “Maybe it’s not me, maybe it’s him.”
And like a light bulb, I had a possible answer.
I turned to him, looked him straight in the eye and said, “You like the chase.”
Taken aback and confused, S.Y. said, “What are you talking about?”
“You are a female fisherman. You throw out your line, catch something, reel it in, and right before it dies from lack of oxygen, you throw it back.” I said.
“I don’t like to think of myself as a killer, so I always throw them back.” He joked.
“How true to form” I say.
At this he became serious, and stopped smiling. He sits and thinks, after a moment he takes a long drag off of his cigarette, a gulp of beer, and says, “You might be right, I meant what I said the other night, I hope you realize that, but yes, I do like the chase and more often than not, I find myself instantly bored once I have what I’m chasing after.”
I felt like I had just solved the mystery behind Stonehenge.
2 Comments:
So so true. And it can go either way. Some gals love the chase also....
circe
You're back! I wondered what happened to you.
I chased for a little bit, but it gets too boring for me.
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