Text message to S.O.: "I cannot believe we had sex with your roommate in the next room over."
Before actually closing my phone, S.O. calls.

Me: Hello? (voice filled with question because normally he never calls back in the day)

S.O.: Man, you are a trooper.

Me: Excuse me?

S.O.: I started taking off your clothes so you wouldn't die of heat stroke, and you just started ripping off all your clothes and kissing me.

Me: Are you objecting to this behavior?

S.O.: Not at all, I just really didn't think I was going to wake you let alone have sex with you.

Me: We hadn't done it in a week and it wasn't 100 degrees in your room.

S.O.: Yes, but you were drugged up on Night Quil, you had had two drinks of rum and coke (I'm a lightweight), you had only had 4 hours of sleep the night before, it was 3:30 in the morning when everyone decided to leave, and my temporary roommate was in the room next to us with all his windows open (hard to explain the windows unless you see it).

Me: Yeah, I probably wouldn't have done it had I remembered that last one.

S.O.: But you would have done it with all the rest of those things in place.

Me: Do you not remember it or something?

S.O.: Oh I remember, I'm just shocked I have such a crazy girlfriend.

Me: You'd do the same thing if the tables were turned.

S.O.: Yes but I'm a guy... (pause) Wait, is this why I.D. calls you "The world's hottest drag queen?"

Never had sex with either S.Y. or I.D., S.O. knows that, but that was still a hilarious comment on his part.