A very personal post, sorry if I offend

I'm in some sort of a game.
Some kind of man game.
I didn't know men played games, but apparently they do.
I.D. and S.Y. are both acting odd.
I.D. is acting odd, like he's very disappointed in me.
S.Y. cannot fathom why I haven't left S.O. and run after him.

I tell S.O. all this, and he just laughs and kisses me.
I like him.
The most honest I have ever been has been with him.
I always have the feeling that he sees through anything I would try to hide (even small things), so I just don't bother. Honesty is my policy.

---

I had a small fight with S.O. on Friday. Wait, let me back up, I had a small fight, he didn't know we were fighting. I think that is usually how it works.

Yesterday, I was looking at the calendar, and I thought, "My gosh, I haven't seen S.O. since the morning of the 5th."
As I was staring, I was trying to think why "5th" was ringing some kind of bell in my head.
Then it hit me, that was the day my period was suppose to start.
I looked at today's date (which was yesterday), it's the 8th.
3 days late.
My body is like clockwork, for the last year my period has happened on either the 3rd, 4th, or 5th.
Panic strikes.

For the next hour, I stared at my computer.
I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything.
Just stared.

Finally at 11:30 I text messaged S.O., "Hey, if you have any free time tonight, I'd really like a moment with you."
That was as calm as I could sound.

I waited.

At 12:45 I get a call. It's him, and he sounds half awake.
"What's up?" he asks, almost if he's annoyed with me.
This is the first conversation I'm having with him in 3 days and he sounds annoyed, more panic.
"Hey, I'd like to talk to you if you have the chance this evening." I said.
"Why can't we just talk now?" he counters.
"I think it would be best if we spoke in person, I'm at work right now." I said hoping he'd get the hint.
He mutters something inaudible and then says, "Fine. I'll make the time." And hops off the phone.

By this point I feel very, very alone.

I walk up to my boss and say, "I have to run to my car."
I leave.
I walk directly to his house.
He opens the door, looks surprised and lets me in.
He's still acting mad, and I'm almost to the point of shaking.

He finishes getting dressed, and then plops down beside me.
"What's up?" he asks again.
I spill everything.
A few moments later, he starts laughing.
Laughing like a God damned hyena.
I seriously have beads of sweat on my forehead from the panicky cold sweat i was in telling him this.
"WHAT is so FUNNY?" I almost shout.
He told me that he's never seen a girl so worked up over a three day late period.

I do not want a baby.

I told him it wasn't a laughing matter.
He asked if I remembered the last month.
He was gone, then back for a few days, then gone, then he got a roommate, then he was gone, whole month he was stressed, I was stressed because I lived in a state of moving, drama, and worried that S.O. hated me.
"So?" I said.
"Talk to me in two weeks if you still haven't gotten it. Then I'll worry. I have been in a constant state of E.D. because of the amount of stress I'm under (it's true, he gets hard but rarely gets off). I wanted to avoid you right now because I thought you were going to get mad at me because I haven't been around in 3 days, and you just wanted to spaz out on me." He laughed.

At this point I kind of felt stupid. And I think that feeling was written all over my face, because he pulled me next to him and wrapped his arms around me and said, "Oh, myname."

Then he asked if he could cook dinner for me that evening.