Recently my womanhood was made fun of.
The people who made fun of it, were not ones that I'd care to call friends, so I wasn't too worried about it.
Basically what it came down to was the fact that I did not have my wedding already planned out, and I had no idea what a princess cut diamond was.
To this, they went out and bought me a Cosmopolitan magazine so that I could "brush up" on what it was to be a woman.
After flipping through it, I have decided being male is much less complicated and more fun.
The only thing I like about being a woman is this strange power I have over men just because I have breasts.
Back to the Cosmos though.
I don't normally read magazines (unless its Playboy, which I find fascinating), but today I decided to flip through it because I was trying to stay awake in class.
I found some of the most asinine things I've ever read in my life.
Things that SHOULD BE common sense.
Are women this dumb?
I'm not speaking to the females that read this blog. I KNOW that you haven't read these similar articles and thought to yourself, “Huh, I learned something new,” because if you had, your blogs wouldn't be as interesting as they are.
This is for every blank-staring, wide-eyed, dumb ass female I've ever hated.
Are you that dumb?
The only thing I found remotely entertaining was the amount of cute shoes that were placed in the magazine, but then again, there are a lot of cute shoes in Playboy too and I don't really care if the woman wearing them has clothes or not.
I'm there simply for the shoes.
The people who made fun of it, were not ones that I'd care to call friends, so I wasn't too worried about it.
Basically what it came down to was the fact that I did not have my wedding already planned out, and I had no idea what a princess cut diamond was.
To this, they went out and bought me a Cosmopolitan magazine so that I could "brush up" on what it was to be a woman.
After flipping through it, I have decided being male is much less complicated and more fun.
The only thing I like about being a woman is this strange power I have over men just because I have breasts.
Back to the Cosmos though.
I don't normally read magazines (unless its Playboy, which I find fascinating), but today I decided to flip through it because I was trying to stay awake in class.
I found some of the most asinine things I've ever read in my life.
Things that SHOULD BE common sense.
Are women this dumb?
I'm not speaking to the females that read this blog. I KNOW that you haven't read these similar articles and thought to yourself, “Huh, I learned something new,” because if you had, your blogs wouldn't be as interesting as they are.
This is for every blank-staring, wide-eyed, dumb ass female I've ever hated.
Are you that dumb?
The only thing I found remotely entertaining was the amount of cute shoes that were placed in the magazine, but then again, there are a lot of cute shoes in Playboy too and I don't really care if the woman wearing them has clothes or not.
I'm there simply for the shoes.
posted by sipwine at 6:55 PM
9 Comments:
This made me laugh, I am so much older than you, but god, I remember the same thing happening to me, all these "women" sitting around talking about the cut of the perfect diamond, , or knowing exactly how their weddings were going to be ...even though they may have had no man in their life at the time....some of the smartest women I know fall into the cosmo trap....it is their man bible or something....my sister-in-laws used to buy it for the quizes, and the sad thing is they believed the answers...at least I think that was cosmo...are they still in there?
So basically you are a simple girl with a simple focus...SHOES.
At least we now have you sussed.
This also made me laugh, Cosmo? Do real women read Cosmo? As a real girlie girl, of which I hold no shame, I do not have my wedding planned out, nor my engagement ring. I do not read Cosmo and seem to have a slightly more intelligence level (or so I'd like to think)
I do however have a slight affliction to Vanity Fair and English Glamour.
I wouldn't worry at all, I'd be concerned if my friends bought me Cosmo in order to make me more woman ;o)
Boy, if you think women are dumb who read Cosmo, what do you figure we men think of them?
(Rhetorical question, because what we are really thinking of is their tits.)
BTW I think you should contact Christie Hefner and tell her about your new ad campaign for Playboy.
Playboy: I read it for the shoes.
I read Cosmo...
OK, I flip through it, look at the pictures, read through the sex tips. Then try out the sex tips (or roll my eyes at them).
Then I go back to reading it, shaking my head and thinking THANK GOD my bf (or myself) don't fit into the molds of this magazine.
This doesn't stop me from buying it of course. But then again, I'm a magazine whore.
Sunny Delight: I think you're right. The quizzes are still in there, but my favorite thing in this issue was "10 signs that he's going to break up with you, a Cosmo Exclusive. And #8 (my favorite) He finds you in his bed sleeping with his best friend."
If that's not one for Ms. Obvious.
Indy: Yes. I don't deny it, I love shoes.
LMM: Oh, I looove Vanity Fair. I'm totally with you on that one.
Wombat: Screw Playboy, I'm making a t-shirt that says that. ;)
Wanderlusting: I'm a shoe whore, and there are some shoes I buy once, love them and then leave them. So I understand where you are coming from. We all have our vices.
Oh how very very true! Just how many ways can you switch the words around ti reiterate "10 Ways to Keep a Man Interested" or "7 Ways to Be Hot in Bed." I mean, really!
Total airheads must keep this magazine in business. *shakes head*
Of course, shoes are a whole other story........ ;)
Apparently they can reiterate a lot, it's been in business for years now. I wonder if it had any credit before the 90's when I first saw it.
Shoes are awesome. :)
I think Cosmo *might* have had credit way back when, if only for being the first women's mag to resemble men's porn.
I'm telling you though, at age 16, Cosmo was the bomb. Just took a few years before I realized it was all a load of arse.
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