I talk about Matt more now than when he was just SO.

Ok.
I think this is the last Matt-Post for a long while.
I went out with SY, ID, and RHM.
We were all relaxing at our favorite bar when Matt showed up.
He went and sat with some people I recognized as co-workers.
Didn't see me.

I made no move to get up and go over and say hi.
ID just gave me a look.

When the night was getting near ending, I looked up from a story that RHM was telling to see Matt standing at our table. Not only did he say hi, but he shook hands with ID and SY and gave RHM a cigarette and then settled into our table.

They all seemed happy about it.

I was not.

ID shot me a look right after RHM left that said, "End this now, or I will."
I nodded.
ID got up said he was going to walk home, and almost grabbed SY by the collar to shove him along too.
SY looked like he wanted to drink more.

It was Matt and myself.
Before I could speak, Matt said, "Last night was probably the most fun I've had since August when we broke up."
QSW: Wow, I thought the break up was horrible, I'm glad to hear you had a good time.
Matt: (giving me a look that said he didn't appreciate the sarcasm) You know what I meant.
Matt: Too bad you had to get all shitty about the text messages "Booty Call" and all.
QSW: (my turn to give a look) Oh my god.
Matt: Oh yea, I'm bringing it up.
QSW: It was at one thirty in the morning, and I apologized the next day, and you were probably drunk off your ass, because that was the only time in the 8 months we were seeing each other that you ever showed emotion.
Matt: I was stone sober.
QSW: It doesn't matter. What is this Matt? What do you want with me right now? Do you truely want to be friends? Do you want me to be happy, with someone else? Or do you only want to be happy with me? Because if that's the case, then thats too bad, I've already moved on.
(I felt like a psychotic ex girlfriend at that point, but I had had just enough beer to not care)
Matt: I honestly want what is best for you, I'm glad you are happy now. I realized at some point that what I did was stupid, but you had me freaked out. And when I freaked out, I wasn't thinking. I wasn't the guy for you, I'm married to my work and I wasn't making you happy, and if you've found happiness now than good for you. (he said the next part with a twinkle in his eye) Of course, he won't be as great as me. I mean, look at me QSW, you cannot find a face like this on this campus.

I rolled my eyes at that statement, and I felt better. I talked with him another 15 - 20 minutes and then headed home. He said a lot of sweet things to me, and I took them all with a grain of salt. I looked at it as, "If he couldn't be sweet while we were dating, then he's probably has some other motive now." But even as I said I had to go, he told me one last thing,
"QSW, I won't find another girl like you for years. I'm really sorry if I hurt you, I didn't want too."

I said thanks Matt, smiled, and walked away.