Recently my womanhood was made fun of.
The people who made fun of it, were not ones that I'd care to call friends, so I wasn't too worried about it.
Basically what it came down to was the fact that I did not have my wedding already planned out, and I had no idea what a princess cut diamond was.
To this, they went out and bought me a Cosmopolitan magazine so that I could "brush up" on what it was to be a woman.

After flipping through it, I have decided being male is much less complicated and more fun.

The only thing I like about being a woman is this strange power I have over men just because I have breasts.

Back to the Cosmos though.
I don't normally read magazines (unless its Playboy, which I find fascinating), but today I decided to flip through it because I was trying to stay awake in class.
I found some of the most asinine things I've ever read in my life.
Things that SHOULD BE common sense.
Are women this dumb?
I'm not speaking to the females that read this blog. I KNOW that you haven't read these similar articles and thought to yourself, “Huh, I learned something new,” because if you had, your blogs wouldn't be as interesting as they are.

This is for every blank-staring, wide-eyed, dumb ass female I've ever hated.
Are you that dumb?

The only thing I found remotely entertaining was the amount of cute shoes that were placed in the magazine, but then again, there are a lot of cute shoes in Playboy too and I don't really care if the woman wearing them has clothes or not.
I'm there simply for the shoes.

Three is always better than two*

*Baby, I know I told you, that you were number 4 in the girls I slept with but you are actually number 6.

So, GH and I like to smoke ketek cigarettes together and chat. Sometimes chatting turns into confessions. Tonight, I felt like confessing something that I thought was bad, that I had done.

Me: GH, I've made a movie
GH: What? Like a porn movie?
Me: Yes, I'm sorry
GH: No shit? Is it on the internet?
Me: No, it was with The EX and he wouldn't have put it on there.
GH: (laughing)Holy shit, I'm dating a porn star.
Me: Whatever! I'm not a porn star!

The conversation went on and he kept teasing me about the video, and asking all sorts of questions. I was glad to see he found it impressive instead of horribly promiscuous, like I originally thought he would. Later on our second ketek cigarette, he mentioned he had a confession, intrigued I asked what it was.

"You're number 6" he said. I knew what he meant. In the line up of girls he'd slept with, he originally told me that I was number 4. Since the only way I could figure out how he had hid not one but two from me, I asked in a surprised manner, "You've had a threesome?!"

GH: Yes, I'm sorry. It was two years ago, and we were all high.
Me: Holy shit, are you serious?
GH: Yes... Are you going to get mad at me?
Me: (laughing really hard) Mad? Are you serious? I'm fucking impressed. Of the 8 guys I've dated all of them have wanted threesomes, but none of them every got one.
GH: Well, its not something I'm proud of, I had no idea what I was doing.
Me: (thoughtful for a minute) So this would have been number 2 and 3 girls?
GH: Yes, they both just started making out, and then one of them grabbed me and I kind of got dragged into it.
Me: (still very impressed with my seemingly innocent boyfriend) So you were just serviced and then left?
GH: Well, I rotated between the two of them, but it was really bad.
Me: You didn't get off?
GH: No I got off a lot...
Me: So it was bad, but only in that Catholic sense...
GH: Yea.....
I have to say, I'm impressed with my boyfriend.

Is it always the quiet ones that are the most deviant?

Last night GH was sick.
Cold and flu are running around campus like the plague.
He just had a cold, but felt bad.
So I told him to sit, while I made dinner.
It was 15 minutes later when we both realized that my brother's ex girlfriend (LLPA) was suppose to stop by for dinner and a movie.
She was to bring dessert and we were to provide dinner.
Orginially we were going to do something simple, but that didn't seem right since she was bringing french silk pie and chocolate peanut butter pie.

I pulled out the recipe book and got to work.
GH kept popping in offering to help, but I kept sending him back out to play Final Fantasy VII.

15 minutes left on the meal and LLPA knocked on the door.
Perfect timing.
I had made Mustard Chicken and Twice baked potatos in record time.


GH walked into the kitchen to let me know she had arrived and looked around his kitchen.
Spotless, with potatoes ready to go, and a wonderful smell coming from the oven, he looked amazed.
He said, "You know, I was wrong about you, I thought you were a Rockstar and wild and untamed, but you are just a homemaker at heart."
I smiled and said, "The Rockstar front is just to protect myself from men."
"Oh I know," he said "I love both sides of you."
Feeling like someone was getting to the core of me and remembering that LLPA was still waiting out in the living room, I turned his shoulders, smacked his butt, and said, "Go."

Secretly I was very pleased.

I was sent this today and told that this is something I would definitely say if I had the chance.
I'm not sure whether to pat myself on the back or be offended.

I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her no, that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I'd lost 50 pounds but I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. Since the food is nutritionally complete, it kills your appetite, and you eat fewer calories, so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no - I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

FabulouslyNew came up to me today and asked how wild GuitarHero and I were.

"What do you mean?" I asked.
FN said, "Well I have a key that goes to the door of the conference room on the third floor."
"You mean, you are asking whether or not he and I would have a quicky in the conference room?" I said.
"Exactly.. my boyfriend won't do it, and before I graduate I want someone to have sex in President Jischke's leather chair." He grinned.
(long pause)
"I can see why he didn't want to do it... and I'm pretty sure I'm not adventurous enough either." I cautiously said.

"Damnit" was all he could reply.



I have to admit, that sounds very kinky and fun... ;)

Trash talker

I'm wildly protective of my brother.
My brother and I are in the same organization
My brother and his ex-girlfriend are in the same organization
Therefore, she and I are in the same organization.

We shall call her LonelyLadybutPassiveAgressive or LLPA for short.

I like LLPA, honestly. I was happy when she and my brother started dating.
I'm happy she's friends with GuitarHero.
I am not happy when she talks about my brother behind his back and in front of me
I am not happy when she freaks out and makes everyone in our organization feel bad about one of my brother's jokes.

I am protective.

I realize that my brother has done some assholish things in the past. And when she first broke up with him and came over to GH's apartment and was trash talking my brother (i was there for a little of it) I didn't say anything. What she was complaining about didn't seem like that big of a deal in a break up, but I wasn't going to say anything because I thought he could of done something more horrible to her.

Like I said, I honestly like her.

Friday night rolls around, and she was at a party that GH and I were attending. My brother was no where to be seen. GH had a missed call from him, so he calls him back.
My brother was staying in for the night, so that LLPA could enjoy herself without the worry of him showing up (my brother tends to be the center of attention whether he tries for it or not).

In my opinion, very adult move on his part.

So a few days later, I was sitting in the office, and LLPA started trash talking him again.
One, it's been a month since the break up
Two, I know at this point my brother is honestly not trying to be an asshole
Three, I'm very protective of my brother.

So, I sat (she sat down right next to me) with my mouth closed, boiling blood, listening her freak out about something that obviously wasn't directed at her. I was about to say something when I realized that all the people in the room were all sitting with their mouths closed, not saying anything.
I waited, soon she left, and I said nice things before she left. As soon as she walked out the door, everyone in the room started saying things like, "Why is she freaking out so much, it was obviously a joke and she didn't have anything to do with it?" I didn't say anything. I kind of felt bad for her after that. I know people love my brother, but now I suddenly realize why she freaks out so much. I wouldn't want to break up with GH and suddenly realize that all my friends love GH more than me.

So I think this weekend I might hang out with her.

The sister of the most beloved Alpha Phi Omega member, hanging out with the ex-girlfriend should shut everyone up for a little while.

I think my brother will approve also.

To Blow or not to Blow...

In the famous words of my gay boyfriend FabulouslyNew: "I cannot keep my mouth off his cock."
GuitarHero and I have crossed over into that stage where you would call us "lovers." I know it's a lot more than that to us, but to the outside objective view, that's what we are.

While I did some crazy things with SO, with GH I find myself going out on limbs I've never climbed out on. For instance, this past Saturday night (we didn't get to go to chicago, but it's a long story that I don't want to talk about), GH had friends come in from Texas to visit. While they were visiting with them at the bars, I slipped my hand right inside the inside of his thigh.

GH just looked at me with an arched eyebrow gaze and said nothing.
The look was everything.

The bars got crowded after awhile, and we decided to move to another, after viewing that bar (and I was feeling uncomfortable because it was a favorite haunt of SO's) we decided to head to GH's apartment since his roommates were gone.
They were talking and drinking when I remembered that GH had blankets in the dryer down the hall.
After asking him if they were done, and he telling me they weren't, I decided to go and dry them some more.
GH refused to let me go by myself, and I found myself in a laundry room with a dryer, me, and GH.

What started out as playful banter, quickly turned into me ripping off GH's pants and him saying, "Here? Now?"
A little while later, he was happy it was "here" and "now," and we walked back into an apartment with 4 people talking and laughing.

I still feel proud of myself. Not sure why though.

Playful Sunday afternoon

(while kissing GuitarHero)
While kissing his forehead, he moved his hand behind my neck and started moving my head so I was kissing his forehead, then his cheek, then his nose...)
GuitarHero: I like how you just kiss wherever I move your head.
QSW: GuitarHero, if you think for a second I don't know where this comment is going...
GuitarHero: (in the best innocent face I've ever seen) What? (then a huge grin)

I couldn't help but laugh...

It wasn't until CrazyBeautiful e-mailed me with this...

"I just wanted to say that if your in Chicago, might you have time for a
drink and ponder the looks of wombat."

...that I realized I wasn't the only one who pondered the looks of the people who frequent my blog.
I've often wondered what Wombat, Indy, MBIC and Scorpy look like in "real" life.
I thought I was alone with those thoughts, but now I wonder how many other people ponder the same thing.
I've always kept my "real" identity a secret. Mainly because I have scary ex-boyfriends who still "google" me and try to figure things out about me. Other reasons include parents, brother, friends, current boyfriend and anyone I know finding this site.

I see other people like Fab and Phil who put their picture up with no problems. I wonder if most of their friends know about their blog. Or are they still unknown?

Why do you choose to put up your picture or choose not too?

It's interesting how pictures aren't a huge deal in the blogging world. I like being flirty with the males who comment on my blog, and I appreciate and look forward to the other female perspectives I get from this blog. I wonder if those things would change if I knew what someone looked like? I wonder if people would stop commenting on my life if they knew what I looked like? Blogging proves that humans don't need to know what someone looks like to appreciate them. I appreciate a lot of stories and comments I read in my blog and other's blogs and a lot of times they are talked about in my "real" life. I usually refer to them as friends. Are they really? GH and I frequently talk about Kiss n Blog which is Wombat's website.
So would that make it "real" life?
I think this all boils down to one question...
What is blogging?

I’ve had somewhat of a writer’s block the past few weeks.

While I was dating SO, I was (on several occasions) lost and confused about what I was doing and where I was going with the relationship.
Looking back on it, I've noticed that it was a very cold relationship with spurts of warmth that would make me happy.
It was like sitting in a cold room and right about the time you start to feel the Goosebumps someone would throw a sweater or blanket on me. The sweater or blanket would always come off eventually leaving me in the cold room without Goosebumps…. Then the process would start over.

When that sweater would come on, or when I noticed Goosebumps, this blog would be my release from my thoughts. You, the audience, would comment and I would see the objective view to my life.

Objective views are always refreshing to me.

But now, I’m kind of lost on what to write here for the moment.
I’m in a constant state of happiness with no drama in my life.

That makes boring blog posts.

So if I don’t post as much as usual in the next week, please don’t worry, I’m hoping by next weekend (I go to Chicago to meet GH’s sister and husband) I’ll have something a little more interesting to write about.

Wednesday night, the former SO text messaged me.
Or should I say Thursday morning, because the hour was 1 am.

Of all my exs, SO was the one I thought would truely fall off the face of the planet.
I guess I was wrong.
Nothing too dramatic, but here is the gist of the conversation.

Text messaged conversation:
SO: How have you been?
Me: Sleeping tonight, APO stuff all week, you?
SO: Getting up at 6 or 7 am and still not use to waking up alone.
Me: I don't know what to say to that.
SO: I didn't expect much, I just was living with a moron last month and you came over a lot, and this month is quieter and not a lot is going on.
Me: Booty call, that's sad. (I meant this sarcastically, but it wasn't taken so, and had I not been half asleep I probably would have re-thought the comment)
SO: I don't know where that came from, but I was just text messaging you to find out how you are, If I wanted to get laid I would walk outside and get some.
Me: I'm sorry, I meant the comment sarcastically (we were very sarcastic to each other when we were dating) I'm sorry you lived with a moron last month and I'm happy you are doing well.
SO: OK.

I called him the next morning and left him a voice mail saying that I was sorry my sarcastic comment wasn't taken well and I felt like when we broke up that I could easily talk to him if I ever saw him on the street or wherever, now I didn't feel that way, and if he felt the same way, then he should text message me back.

I never heard from him though.

Extreme Volleyball

Since Purdue University is filled with students who are engineers or scientists or math majors, there are not a lot of “semi” crazy stuff that goes on here.

We either go extreme or go home.

Take, for instance, volleyball in college.
Now you might be picturing in your head a nice sand court with a bunch of swimsuits and co-ed people. This picture would probably be accurate if you went to some liberal school on the west or east coast.
Not in Midwest, conservative Indiana.
Here we have it extreme.

In the beginning of September when the average temperature is in the low 70’s, Purdue students will gather around the volleyball courts, take 40 degree water, fill the courts and create what is fondly known as,

Mud Volleyball.

It's a lot of fun though...

(yes those are my and GH's legs)

Over the last few weeks I've begun to realize how I've treated my friends the past 8 months and how unhappy I was.
I guess this is true after any break up, there is always some degree of, "Wow, why did I live with that?"
But this seems different than my past relationships.
It's like I'm coming out of some kind of fog and I had no idea I was in the fog.
In fact, I was fairly sure the fog kept me happy.
I'm sure now it doesn't.
For one, my friends have all commented on how happy I am all of a sudden.
M.W. said it was as if I took some kind of happy drug that I won't share with the rest of the world.
Two, I was pretty unhappy about not having someone to depend on.
And even though I think I was falling for S.O. it was definitely only one sided.
Apparently I have enough time and energy to make up for both sides of a relationship.
Now that I'm back to doing things one-sided I have so much more appreciation for it.
GuitarHero doesn't know what hit him, he keeps saying things like, "QSW, You do not have to thank me over and over again for opening the door for you." or "QSW! Stop apologizing, you act as if I'm going to hit you because you suggested a restaurant to eat at. I'm glad you have a voice when it comes to food!"
And so on...

GH does a lot of sweet things for me.
The one that probably takes the cake for every other guy I've ever known was waking up at 6:30 am, on a Sunday, to go to the Purdue Stadium, and clean 33 bathrooms with me.
We are both from Alpha Phi Omega and our chapter needs money.
I signed up for the project originally.
We needed more people.
I asked him to do the project also.
He agreed.
And he smiled and laughed with me all the way through it.
It's interesting what you find from the Breakfast Clubbers.
I think I have my costume for next time.

Conversation Friday

Brother: You missed a fun night last night.
Me: Sorry, I was in bed by midnight last night.
Brother: Oh Sorry.
Brother: I didn't realize it was your birthday last night.
(I just stared at him wondering why he thought that)
Brother: How old are you now? 83?


SevenYears: What are your plans tonight?
Me: Um... IrishDrinker informed me last night that I was to drink with you and him because I hadn't seen you guys since Tuesday.
SevenYears: Oh... Well I wish he would have told me that, so I didn't look like an idiot right now. Where are we going?
Me: I have no idea, IrishDrinker basically barked an order at me, and I said "Yes Sir."
Any Suggestions on where we go?
SevenYears: Preferably a dark, damp alley. (pause) Dimly lit. (pause) In the bad part of town.
Me: Can people stand around us shooting up drugs?
SevenYears: Or maybe just shooting each other...
Me: Sounds like a great Friday night if you ask me.
SevenYears: Great! I'll set that up whenever I get home.